Couples Therapy
in Shoreview, Minnesota
Let’s change the patterns that keep you stuck.
Could couples therapy help us?
Is your relationship not what it used to be?
The romance. Love. Date nights. Picnics by the lake. Those were the days.
That was years ago. You can’t even remember the last time you had a date night. Work, house, kids, pets, more. Repeat. Whispering sweet nothings? Not even on your radar.
You love each other, but things are just not going well. Minor misunderstandings evolve into big arguments or days of silence.
Talking about difficult things? Who’d do that? Just to start another argument? No, thank you.
Things need to change. “But how?” you may be thinking.
Relationship issues are common.
When two people come together and combine their lives, relationship issues are bound to surface.
From “you didn’t take out the garbage” to “kids missed their practice because you were late” to everything in between.
Disagreements, not seeing that two things can be right at the same time, unfair or unspoken expectations, and assuming - can all lead to stress and disconnection even in the most loving relationship.
What used to be endearing now sets you off.
As unaddressed issues pile up, so do resentments, dissatisfaction, and hurt feelings.
Without resolution, resentments build and, over time, a pattern of relating gets established.
If you’re on this page, reading about couples therapy, the pattern (or dynamic) you’re in is not the one you want.
The laughter, the teamwork, partnership? Feeling supported, heard, understood?
That’s still possible.
You may be feeling stuck in your relationship at this time, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Even profound disconnection doesn’t signal the end of the relationship.
Often, coming to the brink allows both partners to decide how to move forward, and both are willing to do the work. It’s a much needed jolt to the relationship status quo.
Couples therapy can help you create healthier relationship patterns.
With the help of a couples therapist, finding common ground and getting to know each other again is within reach.
The issues you bring to therapy? All can be addressed and the relationship healed.
What will it take? Both of you willing and doing the work. In session and between sessions.
Empowerment in Couples Therapy
The focus of couples therapy is on the relational empowerment, with emphasis on mutual empowerment, not individual control (as in one over the other).
By embracing being relational, couples move beyond reactive behaviors, and are able to connect on a much deeper, emotional level.
Couples therapy is right for you, if…
You keep having the same fight, different day
The argument changes. The feelings don’t. You’re stuck in a loop neither of you knows how to break. And it’s exhausting both of you.
Life transitions are exposing fault lines
A new baby. Career changes. Loss. Relocation. Empty nest. Stress has a way of surfacing what was always quietly there. All of a sudden you’re navigating your relationship and unresolved issues that have been simmering for years.
You no longer feel close
You’re functioning together - co-parenting, co-existing, co-managing life. But the intimacy, the sense of being known, has faded into the background.
One of you has shut down emotionally
Withdrawal, stonewalling, emotional numbness. One of you started to build walls because it hurt too much to stay open.
You’re recovering from a rupture
Something happened - a betrayal, a disclosure, a moment (or many) in time that broke trust. You’re not sure whether to stay or go, but you want supportive space to figure it out.
You’re questioning whether the relationship is repairable
You need a supportive space to figure out whether the relationship can survive whatever it is life threw your way.
Couples therapy can help you strengthen your relationship, not just repair it.
FAQs - Marriage and couples therapy in Shoreview, Minnesota.
Do we really need couples therapy?
1
Have you tried fixing and patching things up yourself, and it didn’t work? Couples therapy will help you both move things past the stuck points and build a more connected relationship.
Are we going to talk about emotions?
2
Emotions are a part of being human. Recognizing and naming them helps in not letting them take over. When you start noticing what you do when you feel a specific emotion, you can change it. Which in turn provides a different (better) result.
What makes you different?
3
I combine a thoughtful, human-centered approach with clear communication and reliable results.
Isn’t couples therapy for couples on the brink of divorce or break up?
4
Yes, individual therapy will help. It’s the seemingly less significant events that often have significant impact on how we view ourselves and how we relate to ourselves and others. It’s the teacher that called you a name, the expectation a parent, friend, or significant other put on you, the way the brain interpreted relational information outside of your consciousness. Experiences likes these (and many more) shaped you whether or not you recognize or acknowledge it.
If you are tired of putting on a brave, happy face and are tired of constantly feeling “not enough,” “like a failure” or “can’t handle this", then individual therapy can help.
Are you going to take sides?
5
My role is an active facilitator. I may take sides. Relationships are not simply 50/50, and being a neutral therapist doesn’t help your relationship. In development model of couples therapy, the therapist is an active guide, confronting negative, dysfunctional patterns, and intervening to help you both move toward healthier relational stance.
How do I get started?
6
Getting started is simple. Reach out through our contact form or schedule a call - we’ll walk through the next steps and answer any questions along the way.
