Asking “why” may be hurting you

Asking “why” someone did something in the past may be keeping you stuck and not allowing you to heal? That hurt continues to show up in your life every time you ask “why.” 

“Why” gives the power to the other person - the one who hurt you, didn’t take care of you, neglected you. It gives that person permission to write the narrative from their own perspective. 

Instead of asking “why,” ask:

What does this mean to me?

How has it affected me?

What do I want to do with what happened? 

What would I want to tell this person (if anything)?

If you’re afraid to ask these questions on your own, find a good therapist who’s well versed in childhood trauma, and let them help you heal.